Be a Better Geek: Zen and the Art of Gaming

If you play a lot of multiplayer games, it’s trivial to say “it’s just a game.” It’s not just a game. It’s something you’re pouring hours of your life into and you want to reap benefits from the experience. If you’re getting upset when someone kills you in Black Ops, you’re probably internalizing that anger for the same reason people have road rage or work related stress: you think it’s a big deal in your life. We all get upset over things that we think are a big deal.

It’s not a matter of letting go. You would if you could. Instead of “Let it go,” we should probably say “Let it be.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Let’s start with a simple example. You’ll probably play a multiplayer game tomorrow. You obviously want to be the best, or better, at that game. You’ve spent time in the past, honing your skills and learning the environment, to train yourself to be that better version of you.

So, tomorrow, think of it like this: you have to remember your training to be that better you.

Being better isn’t about the screaming and yelling. It’s about focus. You want to be that Zen gamer that flows like water. Why? Losing your cool makes you suck at things. All things. (Except anger contests, but that’s not what games are.) The games that you play are about remaining calm so that you can focus on the task at hand.

Instead of freaking out, put yourself in a better mindset: you’re the Gandhi of gaming. You’re the Dalai Lama of digital destruction. You’re the Ralph Waldo Emerson of shooting people in their stupid faces. If you’re losing your cool, you’re going to continue to lose at the game. So, focus. You can do that. I know you can because you do it all the time before you want to rage-quit. You know you can do it too.

“Whatever happens, happens.” – Spike Spiegel

Now, that may or may not work. If there are some bigger issues at hand, simply visualizing yourself as the Zen master of gaming might only be the first step. You may be missing an essential part of remaining mindful to your task. You want to be better, to get a positive K/D or to win a match, but all you can fixate on is that guy tea-bagging you. In your mind, you’re setting up a scenario where things must be a certain way – that you must win or do well. But guess what: that may or may not happen. Setting up a “must situation” in your head isn’t going to help you learn. Yeah, it might have been a glitch, lag or even “some bullshit move that shouldn’t be in the game,” but it happened.

Before you have an emotional response, you can form an idea in your head about the emotion to shape that response. Essentially, you don’t channel rage – you tell yourself that you don’t have to get angry and that there’s no must-win situation. There’s no reason you should win every time. It would be boring as hell if you magically won every game without trying. You’d never get better. You’d never feel like you accomplished anything. The only way to win would be not to play. What would you do with your time then? Get addicted to drugs, have sex with numerous anonymous partners, meet a beautiful girl, kill her pimp and set off on a road trip while Christopher Walken murders your father? We’ve all been down that road and it’s not a pleasant one. It would be a lot more constructive if you could learn some better self-talk.

“As you think, so shall you become.” – Bruce Lee

When something happens (A), there’s your reaction to it (B), your self-talk (C) and your emotional response (D). When raging at a game, you’re going from A to B to D. Instead, let’s look at the same situation with the C step included.

Something upsets you (A). It was total bullshit (B). But hey, there’s a few things you could have done to stop that from happening. Maybe there wasn’t. Sure, it frustrates you when that happens, but you can deal with it. I mean, it could be worse. James Gandolfini hasn’t beaten up your girlfriend lately. It’s not like you have to deal with Bronson Pinchot. He peaked in Beverly Hills Cop 3 when he stole the idea for the Ghetto Blaster from Q in the Living Daylights. Man, you know what we haven’t had in a while? A burrito. A real good burrito with some black beans in it, not that refried crap, which, as we all know, goes in the same form it comes out in: brown and crappy. Instead of being mad, you should remember that at least you’re not forced to eat refried beans in every burrito (C). So, when you get to D, you’re not mad. In fact, if any of this is sinking in, you should be thinking about things that make you happy. Like burritos.

“Don’t worry. Be happy.” – Bobby McFerrin

So, in closing, remember why you play games in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with trying your best, but don’t mentally force yourself into a must-win situation. Remember to use good self-talk in between a frustrating experience and your emotional reaction to it. If you get frustrated, you can stand it. There’s no reason for that to escalate into anger. If you need to visualize yourself as a better gamer, do it. Get in the zone. Get a burrito. Be happy.

Be a better gamer, be a better geek.